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All I (we) have are dreams of shopping.

January 14, 2010

i was just trying to purchase, um, shampoo, hair stuff that didn't have malt? or something in it, and um, i was just trying to purchase shampoo and hair products that didn't have malt in it so i was purchasing all the stuff that did have it in it so that i knew i wasn't buying the stuff that did, uh, like i wanted to clear it out of the way or something.   i was with my sister shopping. and i went to sign to buy the stuff and there were special deals and some of it i had to get a rebate and when i signed the sheet there was the name of someone i knew from high school, i thought, that's what it said and i said oh you know him he works here i know him rather well and as soon as i went to sign it, and the person at the counter went to sort of validate it, the name changed and it wasn't that same name anymore it was a womans name now and all of a sudden  i was like oh woah- don't say anything i don't know who that is. and i tried to write the date down but it was sort of already written and it was a weird date it was like 17/49 and so i didn't know if i was supposed to change it since that didn't seem like a date, and then i signed it, for the rebate.

but before that i was at a really large sort of warehouse it was like a giant thrift store and there were, there was tons of clothing and, but i was part of some sort of teaching group or youth group. um and i had this sense as i walked around that there wasn't anyone , um there were lot of people there, lots of students, but then lots of people in general, and i had this sense that there wasn't anyone i was interested in,romantically i suppose that i was only excited by my students.  that they were, i wanted to spend all my time on these students, that they were rejuvenating me somehow, so i was really excited to get to know them all better and they were very young, not very young, maybe 19 or 18 or something, they were like no other students id had before, they were very engaged and, but we were clothes shopping, but the had like things , like things that were worked out between them, and ideas and jokes that were already in swing, that were very impressive to me. very sort of inspired, and thorough and so i just watched them shop a lot and i just kind of felt like hugging them all like i just felt very much like i loved them, maybe love isn't the right word, um…and there was one student uh, of mine, who is actually a friend of mine, who kept trying to hug me more, but i didn't totally understand what was going on and everything he said would make me laugh really hard and he was quoting things you would say in Chinese at a party. and he would say them really funny and i would just laugh and fall to the floor and this was around the time we were at a window and through that window were puppies and everybody went up to the window for the puppies, even though this was in a clothing store, they had some puppies, and um,  they were all like piled up, like puppy puppy puppy puppy, like almost the way that rabbits would be in a cage and they were all different types of puppies and they were all  sleeping and there was one separate compartment with a mother dog and a little baby puppy on her back and i was saying that there was like a benji dog and there was another dog that someone seemed to really like behind me someone said one of them looked like an ewok and another on looked like something else i can't remember. but the mom dog wit the little baby. the baby was like so sort of flat and tiny almost like when a baby hamster is born and its like weird and deflated and not totally normal and it was kind of sliding off of the mother's body, and i thought it was dead, maybe but no one seemed to think that it was, it was just sort of like, arms out, but this hand cam in from the side and would like  lift the baby back and put it on the mother. it was strange and almost sad, but no one else seemed to think anything so i didn't really finish my thought.   but then i did let my, i did back out of there, and people were like "where are you going?" and i said "well,  i was switching places with my sister because she's short and i wanted her to be in the front row." and she kinda looked at me and we had this looks of like yeah, that's what we do, i let her I do that because she's so short and people thought that was very nice of me.

um, i can't …um…i don't think i ever bought any clothing, uh, i think somehow i was just navigating those students the whole time,  im not even sure what it was that i taught them, just that they were my students. um and it felt like we were in new york maybe.  and they did seem like possibly privileged, uh cool young adults.  um  that's it. 

January 22, 2010

i was shopping with my sister and a friend that we've had for many years and um we were looking for, it was, it was really late it was like midnight and i had to go to school or work or something but it didn’t matter we were looking for stuff and we were had to get it and we were gonna get a certain shampoo that my sister likes and uh uh Braille we needed Braille. Why did we need Braille? We needed Braille for some project she was doing. It was someth- she needed it.  She needed the patterns for something to make something.  And Braille was like the idea that she had, and So we were like- where can she get Braille?

um and my thought was that I had seen Braille in thrift stores before the books in thriftstores but then we didn’t know where to go and then Katie, this friend, had recommended a place, the name I cant remember now that seemed familiar to me but it was like “oh I’ve never been there but I totally know what you’re talking about” sort of thing….it was like 3 letters it was like OZZ, OX …something like that ….so we were trying to go there but it was late and we, um, we ended up I remember being in like a gym that had all these crazy levels like I, I was up in this one store and there was clothing and it was a clothing store people were in the way, when we were driving people were in the way. And I’d keep honking because people were in the road.

And it was like...

I was in the clothing store with like a shopping cart trying to get down these  like narrow paths and I was going really fast but I had to go that fast but...

People were in my way and not getting out of my way, so I was like just yelling at them  and moving out of the way and then like...

The whole place was carpeted, but It had that like strip of plastic on the carpet like when there’s new carpet-- you’re not supposed to step on it.  And I was pushing my cart just following that...

And it goes like down this ramp into this other space and that other space is a gym and I just took my shopping cart and I was just like, going around And I think I was wearing roller skates too…cuz I was going really fast, sort of having fun with it, And then the people at the gym just stopped me and I was kinda getting in trouble...

Um, we weren’t finding what we needed I don’t think we ever made it to the place we wanted to go to to get what we needed...

But then there was this other part where we were at like a music festival, a small town music festival probably like the one in my home town,  I think it changed, things were like, uh, things were like more rigidly organized, like it clearly wasn’t like cool anymore… or it was more commercial somehow like there were more stands for buying things and when we were walking through we heard this African music, which I particularly like...

And we’re like “Oh let’s go listen to that”, so we went around this corner and it was hard to get there, there were just so many like tables of wares in the way, but then we got to it. 

And they were playing but it was like they would stop and there were like people representing in the front , kind of like, uh, kind of like having bodyguards almost on either side of the stage who would stop and be like “ok now buy stuff”...

And so, we were asked to buy things and I was, I think it was still my sister, or somebody else too, and she was like…oh…it wasn’t her anymore,  It was someone else and now I can’t remember who…But she would give them like one coin  and it was all British money and she was like “ ok here you go” and like give them a donation...

And I was like “How much did you just give them ?” 

and she would say  “9 pounds”,

I’m like “you gave them a 9 pound coin?

And she’s like “yeah”

And I’m like “That’s not 9 cents, it’s not even 9 dollars it’s more than that. that’s almost twice as much”

And so I’m like saying all of this out loud

and she’s like “whatever, it’s really that much?”

and I’m like “yeah”

and then she had a-  she always had a pound coin in her hand, but the two times that she purchased things she said that she gave them 9 pounds

And I was like  “that’s a pound coin”

She’s like “oh”  and I think I wanted to purchase something.  Oh and I had in my hand…I think it was a gift for my mother.  I bought a celtic cross that I already had bought for myself when I was thirteen or something, er, yeah.  And I had that, and I was going to give that to her.   But I wanted it like engraved or something.  But I wanted something else engraved. So I was actually looking at earings and stuff that I was going to possibly buy.  Um….yeah.